Making A Painting, The Beginning

So, I have this huge blank white wall.

I dislike it.

After having grown up in a house where every wall had a massive painting on it, blank-ness bothers me a tad. So, when I last visited home, I tried to talk my dad into giving me one of his. Unfortunately, my favorites…happened to co-incide with the ones that had won blue ribbons in the county fair. Ha. Basically yeah, he didn’t let me take them.

What he did give me though, was a board. 30″X33″. 2.5X2.75 feet. Exactly 990 square inches.

A fair size to cover the blankness of the wall without using dozens and dozens of photos and making it look crowded.

A big enough size to make the prospect of painting it daunting enough to make me want to say…Pass. It brings up a long list of “what do I do…what do I do?!!!” And makes me question things.

I really haven’t studied painting, I took art classes in high school and for a few minutes I was accompanying my Art History major with an Art minor, so I have done some painting. I’m not terrible, but I’m not particularly *good* either. So why am I painting? Why don’t I do a drawing, or buy a print like they have at JoAnn’s? I have no idea. Truthfully, yes I know why. I wouldn’t spend money on a lot of the things I saw there, and the things I would spend money on (the really well crafted *real wood and such*) don’t fit with the vision for my apartment.

This leaves me with a predicament. What the crap am I supposed to paint?!

I have a few ideas, but they’re…Nothing seems quite worthy of the size. Not just the size, but this is going to be a major focal point in my living room. Doing a portrait is out, because a 990 square inch portrait of someone(s) can’t do anything but inflate ego. And do I really want a person watching me all the time? Might as well just paint a giant pair of eyes and spell out “OBEY” underneath it.

What do I have in my head, in my heart/soul, that is worth that much space? I really have no idea.

~Sigh~ This one is going to be a challenge. If I accept the definition of writers block as lined out by one of my friends, “writers block is knowing what you want to write but being too afraid to say it.” Can I apply this to painting? I can’t use my writers block technique on this, when the words I’m afraid to write won’t come to me, I just open up my notebook/word document/diary, and just write until I start to feel things and go with that until I have something.

How do you do that with a painting? Just grab paint and go at the board until something appears? I doubt it. My paint is precious, I have a finite amount, and a LOT of board to cover.

Stay tuned, I’m going to come to terms with this puddle of unpleasant feelings and make a great painting for my wall!


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