Hat Etiquette

Hats are fabulous. I love them. Guess what else I love? Manners. During the Superbowl Metlife aired a ridiculously sweet commercial featuring the Peanuts and the National Anthem.

There was a discussion, by some bitter internet critics (just kidding guys…really!) about the fact that Woodstock and Lucy didn’t remove their hats. For real guys? We’re going to try to make an issue out of this? The true answer is no, attempting to make an issue out of it was fruitless. But it got me thinking, what are the rules for hats? For men, hat rules are fairly simple. And you can always go by the rule of: “if you’re not sure, look at the other guys”. Here’s a hint too, look at the OLDER gentlemen, the retirees, grandfathers, ect. When it’s okay for you to wear a hat if you’re a DUDE:

  • Outdoors
  • At athletic events (indoors or out)
  • On public transportation
  • In public buildings such as post offices, airports,  and hotel or office lobbies
  • On elevators

That’s not a terribly long list is it? Especially compared to where guys cannot wear their hats without being impolite jerks who will not be invited back:

  • In someone’s home
  • At mealtimes, at the table
  • While being introduced, indoors or out (unless it’s frigid!)
  • In a house of worship, unless a hat or head covering is required
  • Indoors at work, especially in an office (unless required for the job)
  • In public buildings such as a school, library, courthouse, or town hall
  • In restaurants and coffee shops
  • At a movie or any indoor performance
  • When the national anthem is played
  • When the flag of the United States passes by, as in a parade

Ladies, your rules are a little more “Wear ‘dem hats”. But let me clarify first: if you’re wearing a baseball cap/other unisex hat (beanies and whatnot) you are expected to follow the rules that guys follow with their hats. Fashion hats have their own rules. Fashion hats are acceptable (on top of the list of when it’s acceptable for boys to wear hats):

  • In someone’s home
  • At luncheons, weddings, garden parties
  • At religious services
  • At a movie or any indoor performance
  • When the national anthem is played
  • When the flag of the United States passes by, as in a parade

That is right, church, national anthems and parades are perfectly acceptable and kind of expected to keep your hat on. Just like Woodstock and Lucy did. Except WAIT WHAT?! Woodstock is a boy fictional character isn’t he? The answer to that is yes, he’s a boy, but a bird. Birds don’t normally wear hats so there aren’t any rules for them. And look at how little he is and how cold it must be, without his hat Woodstock would die! The only time its actually not okay for a lady to wear her hat:

  • Anytime it blocks someone’s view, such as at a wedding or in a theater
  • Indoors at work

Oh! A couple more fun facts about hats! Ladies hat adornments (Hat pins, flowers, feathers, whatever you want to stick in your hat today) should be on the right side all the time! It’s like the shirt button thing, you can tell a girls button-up from a boys button-up by which side the buttons are on. (Don’t ask me which is which for the shirts, I have no idea!)   Now, both ladies and men, feel free to use this knowledge to *wear more hats*. Hats are awesome! Hats hats hats. Hats are awesome!

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