Sometimes I’m lonely for the friendship that could have been.
Once upon a time we were really bad at being friends. But it was high school, it’s part of the deal.
At least I think it is.
Then we grew and became who we are.
And I think…I hope…
I choose to believe
that now we could be friends.
I choose to believe this is a thing.
And when I think of you
and this friendship that could be a thing
I choose not to say hello.
I miss that possibility every day. I miss it like it was, not like it could be.
Because, what I choose to believe, and what I feel is the truth, are different.
We couldn’t be friends. Not again.
Not because we were bad at it before
not because we’ll be bad at it now.
Not because we can’t let go of who we were, and who we are
But because who we are going to be is so different
we’ll leave each other behind.
I will leave you behind every time.
And not on purpose.
But I will.
I miss the friendship we could be having.
Not the friendship we had.
But if I had a redo
we wouldn’t have had a friendship at all.